elephant in the room
by matchbookjealousy
Summary: following the events of 2x15 "Sexy", santana is trying to distract herself from her problems, but in the end, just ends up back where she started.  its super short, i know! i still hope people read it, though!


**i was *way* too overwhelmed by tonight's episode (2x15 "Sexy"****), so i threw this together. i have no idea if anyone will even read it, let alone like it.**

**reviews (as always) are appreciated.**

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"Quotation marked lyrics"** are lyrics that are being both heard and sung.**

_Italicised lyrics_** are those being only heard, but not sung.**

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**Song featured is "Elephant in the Room" by Richard Walters.**

**The video referenced is a rehearsal video of Jakob Karr's audition piece for Season 6 (2009) of the Fox tv show So You Think You Can Dance. The link for this video can be found in my profile.**

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Now that it was the weekend, in an effort to distract herself, Santana did what she used to do back in middle school to cheer herself up when she was upset. So, upon arriving at YouTube, she promptly typed "so you think you can dance" (her secretly favorite tv show) into the search bar.

After navigating through many videos, sifting through the several different "Suggestions" columns, and re-watching a video or two, Santana finally arrived at a rehearsal video for one of her favorite dancers from a previous season of the show. Once the music started, she wished she hadn't clicked the thumbnail.

This wasn't what she wanted at all; the lyrics were hitting too hard, and the dancer's motions were too evocative. She'd wanted to be distracted from her problems, not reminded of them. But she sat at her computer and watched the video over and over. Eventually she caught onto the lyrics, and started to sing along, imaging what it would be like to sing them to an audience (an audience of one person in particular).

"Calling you to wake  
Shouting in my car that's stalled outside  
And it's pure coincidence I'm sure  
Falling from my mouth, secondary doubts I've found myself in  
Can't seem to look you in the eye

And I hope you can see  
I'm more than this, this heap at your feet  
Who are you to judge me?  
Who are you to preach?  
Control has slipped away from me again"

The combination of Jakob Karr's beautiful dance, and the melody of the music, and the emotion of the lyrics were becoming too much for her emotional brick wall to handle. So, this time, her emotions started flowing along with the words, and a scattering of tears started to fall.

"How heavy are these words?  
They're heavier than air  
That rushes past your face as you drive away from me again  
How heavy are these hands?  
They're heavier than blood  
That rushes to my head as you walk away from me again

Forcing you to speak  
Snapping out my voice seems smaller now, it's only whispering my life  
Paper cuts in time  
I insist you keep these letters here and read them over if you can"

Finally the barricade fell, and she couldn't sing anymore. Through her tears, she watched Jakob dance to the rest of the song, and listened to powerful words being sung.

_How heavy are these words?  
They're heavier than air  
That rushes past your face as you drive away from me again  
How heavy are my hands?  
They're heavier than blood  
That rushes to my head as I will walk away from here again_

_How heavy are these words?  
They're heavier than air  
That rushes to my face as you turn away from me again  
How heavy are these words, heavier than time  
That rushes past your face as you would turn to walk away again_

This was her fault. She'd been so mean to Brittany before. Who was she to expect Brittany to come back to her after how awful she'd been? Brittany wasn't as dense as she seemed. She might not have been the best with common sense, but she understood what was in peoples' hearts - something Santana had learned far too late. This was her fault. And for the first time, Santana didn't know what to do and had no one to turn to.

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**like i said, reviews are always appreciated.**

**thanks so much for reading!  
**


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